Choice
by beatress
Summary: : By the time I make that choice... I didn't think I'd fall hard for one more person… ZerVis... Spoilers for FT 449...
1. Part 1

**A/n:  
** In light of the today's chapter 449 of FT titled 'Zeref and Mavis', I decided to write my own version of what may have happened. I hope you like this four part story.

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 **Choice**

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 **Summary:** By the time I make that choice... I didn't think I'd fall hard for one more person… ZerVis

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 **Part 1  
**

 **Zeref**

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' _You've been here all along?'_

To a person who worried about a stranger like me…

' _Aren't you lonely?'_

To a person who cared for me…

' _It's okay. You can touch them'_

To a person who made me feel the warmth of a touch…

' _You have very kind eyes and I don't believe those rumours'_

To a person who said such kind words to me despite knowing that I was the most feared black wizard of all times….

What did I leave?

' _ **You used Rou?!'**_

What did I do?

' _ **It's not that you've stopped growing…. You've become an immortal, just like I am…'**_

What did I ask?

' _ **Have you chosen what kind of lives you will be taking… at your own discretion of course?'**_

What did I say?

' _ **You don't know the true meaning behind taking a life. And once you find out, everyone around you will disappear'**_

To a person who believed in me…

To a person who thought 'I was a good man' unlike what the rumours said…

I left her with three things: **heartbreak, tears and a choice** …

I caused her heartbreak by revealing the true nature of the person I am…

I'm the reason for her tears she had been shedding since she found out about the curse _I_ inflicted upon her.

I left her with an impossible choice she would never want to make – the option to choose who to kill.

It must've been hard for her to hear me say all those nasty words. She ran away as soon as I was finished with what I had to tell her.

They must have crushed whatever trust she had in me. She must have been devastated with the new revelations she had to have.

I was sure of one thing though- things probably won't be the same ever again.

She probably won't ever run to me again or try to make me happy. Neither would she hug me in her happiness.

She might never even come near me out of fear that I'd bring her other misfortunes.

It however doesn't bother me…

It's no big deal to me. She is just like any other human…

I always wondered how she was different from others. She made me do things which I otherwise wouldn't have done. Teaching her and her bunch of friends magic when I couldn't even be near them. It always bothered me. It bugged me how she pulled off such impossible things out of me. Yet she was ordinary… just like any other human being.

No matter how ordinary she is, she is still a human being which I can't kill… An immortal… to put it in a different way, someone belonging to the same species as me…

That's why she can come near me, hug me, stand beside me or sit close to me… I was surprised when she did all those things- to a point I could've believed my curse has ended. When she revealed about the usage of 'Rou', everything fell into place… She had potential… She could be the only person I can touch or be near….

' _So it's true… you've always had it in you… the power to walk alongside me'_

To such a person who was now capable of being the only friend I can have…

What choice did I leave?

What choice will she make?

What outcome will she choose?

A smile formed on my lips. She was running away. It was like watching myself in the mirror when I first discovered the curse. I was in denial. I couldn't understand what happened. Everywhere I went, people, plants, animals or anything living was stolen of its life force. I didn't figure out things until a few years and when I did, nothing was left that would come near me. People began running away from me. They feared me yet a few idiots desired my power- they wanted my curse. But they didn't know they were asking for hell right away.

She was going through a similar phase. Instead of her learning over a long time, it was better I tell her what was going to happen. We might save a few lives in this process than the actual damage would be. After all, I know how precious a life is. I bet she does too… But she still has a lot to learn about it…

So, I smile. I can't deny that I'm not happy. After all, I can have a companion in this eternal journey.

But seeing this world for who knows how long….

I somehow am sad thinking of all the pain she needs to go through in the distant future…

Eternal life isn't something you should wish for, even if in a dream. It is just a life shrouded with sorrow and lined with pain. The clouds that are cast upon it are so thick that one can't see the silver lining everyone claims to be present…

But that isn't even the worst part.

The worst part is…

I never intended for it to turn out like this…

I never thought this would kill her this way…

If I did… I wouldn't have taught her magic at all 10 years ago.

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 **A/n:** Any thoughts? Do you like it? Well, you may say nothing happened in this part... It was basically Zeref reflecting on his thoughts and words... But expect something in the next part.

Anyone wants to share their thoughts on ZerVis in today's chapter. I'm open for a chat. I was so happy to see the whole chapter full of Zeref and Mavis. My heart stil flutters thinking about it.

But I hope you did enjoy the manga chapter too... if you neglect my ramblings here.

Bye. I've gotta sleep. A class early in the morning... *yawns* *I don't wanna go*


	2. Part 2

**Choice**

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 **Part -2**

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 **Mavis**

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Why is it me?!

I've never wanted a curse. I never wanted to kill anyone. I just wanted to save my friends' lives.

Why does it have to end like this?

' _ **It's not that you've stopped growing…. You've become an immortal, just like I am…'**_

That revelation instigated fear in me. I know I was afraid. I know I was devastated at hearing that. The part about the immortality didn't bring me this much grief as much as when he said I had to choose the lives I want to take.

Why?

Why am I cursed?

Why do I have to carry the same curse as _him_?

I do not want anyone to die. I do not want to kill… I have no intentions of doing so; then, why?

I feel insecure. I feel uncertain. Zeref's presence didn't cure me of it. It intimidated me even more. I began to have my doubts if I really knew this person; if he was the kind man I thought him to be. Even if he was, he wasn't helping me much. I couldn't calm down. I couldn't stop my heart from skipping the beats each time his words repeated in my mind.

I know how precious life. He doesn't have to tell me. To me, my friends are the most valuable ones and I can give up my life for them. But to take their lives… that's absurd. That isn't something I can do.

I cannot do it. I cannot allow it.

I need to get away from this man who is scaring me with his mere words. Everything he said until now was no truth. I know it. I know it.

Nothing happened in the past 10 years… Nothing will happen now either.

If I see my friends… If I see my only family I have…. I'll forget all this non-sense. I'll forget what he said… Because a lie wouldn't matter much…

As I neared the guild, I could hear the cheers of the guild roaring in congratulations to Yuriy. The man I knew became a father. I was overwhelmed with joy- so much that I forgot what the black mage just said.

I forgot what Zeref said. Or I thought I did.

Before I could open the door and make my entrance…. I stopped dead in tracks. I began running… in the opposite direction. I wasn't sure where I can head but I had to get far away from this place.

Because a lie wouldn't matter much, I couldn't lie to myself. Even if there was a 0.01 percent chance of hurting them unintentionally, I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

With questions like 'What if I end up hurting them?', 'What if I take their lives?', 'What if every gets destroyed just like Zeref said?' and others in my mind, I couldn't find myself some solace.

My feet felt heavy. The nerves began to demand rest. My brain told me to stop. But my heart couldn't. Things were sting incomprehensible to it and it wouldn't stop beating as wildly as it did. Neither would the tears dry up. The wind went cold and the sky began reflecting my sorrow, mixing my tears with its own. Was it sad for me? I wonder.

How did this happen?

Why only me?

Why me?

I…

I don't want to kill anyone….

I…

I won't be able to forgive myself if something happens to my friends because of me…

I…

"Mavis, is it you?" a voice called out from the shadows of the woods. It was a voice I couldn't forget. It was also a voice I didn't want to hear; not at the moment. I turned around to the source in fear.

However, in the darkness and the dark clothing it bore, I couldn't see who it was. Rather I didn't want to acknowledge the presence. But that person rushed towards me. I could hear his footsteps. I could see his silhouette in the night. I could also see the white cloth which he wrapped around my head and those eyes which reflected the person's kindness in them.

"Z-z-zeref?" I called. Upon assurance that I wasn't mistaken, my body moved on its own- away from the very man standing in front of me. His eyes lit up with sorrow at my actions. Yet he still managed a smile at me – though it was sad. That smile too wrecked my heart for some reason.

Is it the kind of reaction he usually gets from people?

The scarier question was: Will I be getting the same treatment as him?

Will I be living away from all things alive just like him?

Will I-

"You're drenched, Mavis" my body flinched as his hand made contact with mine. I fell down to the ground in the muddy puddle. He faked another smile and helped me to my feet.

Though I was hurting him, he would gladly help me with a smile…

Why is he doing this? Can't he see that he is getting wet himself?

Why is he helping me? Why when I don't want him to?

He said so himself- he is really the man in the rumours.

The man in the rumours was no less than a ruthless assassin. But this man…

This man… was kind-hearted unlike anyone I met.

I quivered even more- not with fear for him but with disgust for myself. How did I become like this? How did I forget that if it were not for this man I wouldn't even have been standing here receiving his help? It's not his fault that I'm cursed. He warned me but I….

It was my choice.

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled. My mumblings didn't quite reach his ears

My eyes started brimming with tears again. I wanted to say a lot to him. I wanted to hear my mind. I wanted to vent out my anger on him. I wanted to tell him he's the worst… because he's being so benevolent; so much that everything I wanted to unleash upon him melted away, just from his smile. It felt like he was waiting for me to do so and then I couldn't

I threw myself at the man who looked baffled. I nudged my head in his chest as he bent down a little to lend it to me.

"I…I'm sorry… I… I didn't mean to… I… don't…" I said stifling my cries but before I could say anymore… he answered for me running his hand through my wet locks.

"I know… I can understand… Because even I never meant to…"

At this moment, I felt like I could completely understand this person. Because like me, he never wanted to kill anyone… he never did. He really never did.

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"It's clear now. Our clothes are dry too. You should go back to your guild."

I cannot go back.

"Everyone would be worried about you…"

That is why I mustn't go.

"There is still time to make the choice. You should fill your life with memories before that time comes"

But I don't know what will happen if I just barge into their lives knowing it may endanger them.

I saw him put his cloak on and walk away.

Don't leave me.

Don't go.

I've never been alone.

He cannot leave just like that.

There is a lot I want to ask…

There is a lot I want to learn about this curse…

There are a lot of people I want to protect. Therefore… I…

"Zeref!" I called out to him. He stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at me. He waited for me to stand after the run I took to reach him. My face was flushed because of the little dash I made. My breath was uneven. He waited till I stopped panting and began saying what I wanted him to hear.

"I… I want to come with you…"

'…'

He didn't reply.

"Please take me with you…."

I tried again but he didn't speak a word.

His look only discouraged me. I wonder what he is thinking. Does he hate me after all that I did yesterday? Does he not want anything to do with me? But I need him. He is the only one who can help. He is the only one who would be unaffected by my presence!

Time is all I need. His time is all I need…

"Please… until I make that choice… I want to… be with you…" Tears started flowing on their own. I let them. He was my last hope. He really was.

"Please…. I… I don't want to take anyone's lives without me even knowing it… Because you… cannot..."

He was hesitant. He didn't know how to answer my appeal.

Silence consumed the time except for the wind and my tears which did their jobs. After a long pause, he smiled, patting on my head like it was a flower that would break with the slightest pressure. My eyes widened as I looked up to watch him smile his tender smile. With his affectionate demeanour he answered my request in the affirmative.

All I could do was cry like a child I was; compared to him.

At that time, it was only gratitude I felt for him; for a man who helped me save my friends….

I know the curse is a result of my own choices… my own sin….

This man had nothing to do with my curse…

Besides… this great dark mage of all eras has the kindest eyes I ever saw…

I possibly couldn't…. No… There was no way I could hate him….

He is innocent… He is pure…

At that time, I didn't know… that this would be a man who would become very precious, more so than my friends…

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 **A/n:** I hope this makes up for the large gap in the update. Part 2/4 finished and the next part will come up by tomorrow night (IST). It shouldn't take long.

I agree there isn't enough ZerVis but you can expect more from me. So, that's a plus. (Though they'd be crappy little chapters like this one… ;_; ) And yes, the chapter was perfect.

You know the feel when someone's crack ship suddenly becomes canon or close to it… I'm currently floating in that. I've been shipping Zervis for a long time now and it makes me happy to see that the possibility exists for them. I'm just… you know…

Thank you for all the faves and follows. Did everyone who reviewed get a reply?

Anyways, more ZerVis tomorrow!

For now, good night! Busy day ahead… ^o^'


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